Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
