she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
