Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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