He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
