Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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