We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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