Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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