Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
