I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize