Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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