My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You've changed since you got that strap on
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize