well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize