Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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