Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
