It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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