Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
