Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize