No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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