i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
