so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
