He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I understand Curling. That high.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
50% drunk capacity currently
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
