Sponge bath it is.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
so much tequila, so little girl.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
