She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I wish there were birth control emojis
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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