My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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