We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
