I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
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i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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