White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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