If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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