'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
