I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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