Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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