what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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