I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
