I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
