Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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