Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
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glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
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But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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