This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
