watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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