Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
