All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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