he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
