i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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