So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
