Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize