when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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