Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
