they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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