what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
