I think I just saw someone hide a body.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
