O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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