youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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