I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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