addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
