My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Where is the hickey?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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