i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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