I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
