Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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