You just made me feel so damn special
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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