Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?