Texts From Last Night

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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now

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  (423): ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now http://tfl.nu/2rfn
  Replies (27) Good night (5227) Bad night (997)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea

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  (630): just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea http://tfl.nu/jqzl
  Replies (10) Good night (834) Bad night (3996)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper

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  (516): my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper http://tfl.nu/iwmr
  Replies (12) Good night (3978) Bad night (1051)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.

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  (702): Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter. http://tfl.nu/2ees
  Replies (26) Good night (1999) Bad night (16576)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof

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  (832): The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof http://tfl.nu/eyc5
  Replies (7) Good night (2660) Bad night (850)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning

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  (519): we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning http://tfl.nu/bwa3
  Replies (9) Good night (4245) Bad night (1031)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up

  (1-585): View more from New York

  Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit

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  (585): Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up (1-585): Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit http://tfl.nu/gck7
  Replies (6) Good night (2532) Bad night (1164)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  I have got to meet this girl.

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  (860): she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW (1-860): I have got to meet this girl. http://tfl.nu/ejln
  Replies (7) Good night (2332) Bad night (660)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room

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  (406): don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room http://tfl.nu/gche
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (825)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him

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  (610): Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him http://tfl.nu/y954
  Replies (2) Good night (1175) Bad night (683)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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  (870): I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that. http://tfl.nu/0bow
  Replies (21) Good night (811) Bad night (1270)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar

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  (651): I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar http://tfl.nu/y23q
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (442)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.

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  (202): She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family. http://tfl.nu/nmso
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (694)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?

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  (203): Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day? http://tfl.nu/ae7l
  Replies (5) Good night (682) Bad night (347)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate

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  (570): The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate http://tfl.nu/e7xr
  Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (298)

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