So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.