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• (805): View more from California

  he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  good thing vaginas are great cup holders

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (573): View more from Missouri

  We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (727): View more from Florida

  His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.

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• (209): View more from California

  He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you

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  Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now

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