You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
what day is it and did you see me today?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
