I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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