im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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