No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
