is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
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Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
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Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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