i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
