I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I pour the whiskey from now on
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
