I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
